Kraigslist Katastrophes II: Punctuation Edition

My friend Michael Hazen thinks I should have a regular feature making fun of Craigslist car ads, so 10 percent of the untold riches I will obtain from this venture will go to him.

jeep cj7 wrangler v8 lifted off road rig – $2500 (pembroke)

i have a nice built 1979 jeep cj7 fiberglass tub hard top has a 350 v8 chevy engine built by sumit raceing lots of new parts it has 32/1250/15 bfg alltrains like new. 4″ lift kit spring over!! dana 44 rear axle with a locker 3.73 gears front dana 30 open axle 3.73 turbo 400 auto trans and new process 208 case that works well. this jeep needs work to be road worthy it has drive shaft vibrations do to the long drive train it needs a dana 300 case with a adaptor from avance adaptors to make it ride smooth i have open tittle in hand $2,500 or best offer email or call any time

Whoa, slow down, podner! Take a breath. This I didn’t get at all: “t has drive shaft vibrations do to the long drive train it needs a dana 300 case with a adaptor from avance adaptors to make it ride smooth” It needs what, now?

Also, seller mentions that he has “open tittle in hand.” I’m not sure what to make of that.


Open tittle in hand.


84 camero z28 for trade – $1 (shirley)

i got an 84 z28 camero its bright orange with a primed fender and door with a corvette 350 and a borg warner tranny 5sp with a b&m short shit kit motor has cam and solid lifters and a holley double pump the thing rips just needs a little paint an oil pan gasket and tired and its road worth i traded my bike for it but kinda lost interest im lookin for another offroad toy to trade for very open minded leme know what ya got email or text me

I love that you can do a search for “Camero” and come up with six cars for sale. It says “Camaro” right on the dash you’ve been staring at for the last 20 years, halfwit. Anyhoo, this fine example has a “short shit kit,” and a primered fender and door, which pretty much makes it the Mayor of Woonsocket, Rhode Island‘s staff car. He’s very open-minded, he says. Yeah, I imagine “open-minded” is how your neighbors refer to you.

Oh, and PS: It don’t cost no more to have a picture larger than a postage stamp. What is this, an ad or an eye test?


Short Shit Kit

Van Dodge RAM350 ; Altima95;both in working condition – $1495 (Braintree, MA)

Van Ram 350 Dodge; V-8, 318cid running good, has trailer hitch, can tow 3.500 lb.
Has 105 K original miles, still baby. inside has a bench seat and two front seats, paneling, tires OK.
IN WORKING RUNNING CONDITION. Was tuned 9 mns ago.$1495
Nissan Altima 95, has a new (used) engine, otherwise working good, body in a good shape, no dents.$1495
Also selling a boat 14′ Arkansas Traveler F/G with Johnson 30 HP $1695 in good working condition.
Can take as a partial barter a household trailer in a good working condition.
Please do not offer money orders out of USA with cash refunds.
Pictures upon demand.


The other two guys had no punctuation, but this guy used all of it. He’s got semicolons for crying out loud. I guess if it’s there on the keyboard, go ahead and use it.

He’s looking to barter for a “household trailer.” I can only assume he and the family have outgrown the van.

I also like the warning to potential Nigerian scammers at the end. Putting it right in the text of the ad must be incredibly effective, because they clearly read the entire context of the ad in question before embarking on their scheme.


Still baby inside.


About Craig Fitzgerald

Craig Fitzgerald is an automotive writer, photographer and editor with credits in Hemmings Motor New, the Boston Globe, Forbes, the Washington Post, Esquire and
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2 Responses to Kraigslist Katastrophes II: Punctuation Edition

  1. Brent says:

    It would be a worthwhile challenge to find an ’84 “camero” without at least one panel in grey primer.

  2. Pete says:

    Someone ought publish an auto parts dictionary to assist sellers with the correct spelling of names and parts. Grammar and punctuation help might be more difficult.
    Have they ever heard of proof-reading?

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